Elsie+locke+2011

__ Thursday 9 June 2011 __

**MY LEARNING TARGETS**

My next step in writing is to use correct punctuation.

I will achieve this by using full stops, capital letters, commas in the correct places.

Date achieved: //Quinn this is a great start to a story. Proof read and edit your story carefully so that it is easier for the reader to read. Remember that names have capital letters & 2 spaces after a full stop.//

Survive
I was first on a boat, with me and my 2 friends josh and mike. we where going fishing for some trouts. We caught a few trouts but then we saw a huge wave. josh said It wasn't a wave it looked like a shark to him. and it was looking for food. He spotted us said mike. The shark came rushing towards us very fast. he bit a huge chunk of the boat and we eventually started to sink. I saw a island close by I said to mike and josh. But it was to late we were in water trying to swim to the island is was our only hope. A huge wave hit us and we got dumped into the island.

I woke up in this island and it was small but most of it was sand. We all looked for food that day. It was 9:00 at night mike found 2 coco nuts josh took the trout that he catched and I found some banners. We all crowded around eachother and ate. It was hard to see without a light. We tried to get some sleep after that. but before you know it we were fast asleep. We woke up at 6 in the morning we were all hungry we tried to look for more food but it was all gone we used all the food up.

lucky I kept this water proof diary in my pocket. I was far away from my friends they were to busy looking for food. I wrote that the fist night was nice but we are out of food. Mike was so hungry he threatened to eat himself. I said that was imposable. 5 hours later I couldn't find him. I saw a sign saying mike ate himself. Maybe I was wrong after all he did eat himself. so me and josh were starving so we had to go to sleep without food. the nest day I woke up And I bet him that I could hold my breath for longer than him. Even tho I cheated and breath though my nose he died and I ate him.

There was no way more to survive but I was full at that time. I thought I could survive for 2 days. I did things like explore the place and tried to make a mini house and a fire for the night I found some matches on the ground I was in luck. I made a little tent out of tree leaves and wood and a fire outside. I was proud of myself. I was fast sleep then it was morning. I woke up at about 8:41 I can tell because I can see where the sun is so I thought that time was right. I was getting hungry by the minute. I spent the whole day looking for food. I had no luck tho so I gave up and die of hunger so I waited and waited and waited for so long. It was the next day and I felt my stomach eating my bones and then I died of hunger. After all I didn't survive.